Perpetuated Goofs and Banalities

Hello dear Hollywood director:

May I take a few minutes of your time to remind you, that

• Swords or sticks don't swoosh when you wield them

• Lightning and thunder are not simultaneous if they take place in the distance.

• There can be no shadows cast by people or objects when the sky is overcast.

• Frogs don't quack, whenever you point a camera at them. Those characteristic sounds are meant to attract mates, rather than help an inapt director make clear that the amphibian squeezed in a child's hand is really a frog. Nor do elephants constantly trumpet, owls perpetually hoot or, cats napping happily on a sofa meow.

• An aircraft engine that has stopped does not produce the high pitched sound of excessive rpm on its way down (as e.g. in The Spirit of St. Louis).

• Cars falling down a cliff do not normally burst in flames, let alone produce several violent explosions. Why this pathetic fascination with explosions in action films anyway?

• "Potassium Cyanide, a form of sulphuric acid" (sic). (Hangar 18)
  "They're light years ahead of us":The Light Year is a measure of distance, not of time!

• The sole reason why American police cars are always approaching with blaring sirens must be to warn criminals of their coming.
  Do you really need these sound effects to create an "atmosphere" of cops-getting-active?

• In space you do not hear the sound of rocket engines or of explosions. As far as my own experience takes me, only Kubrick/Clarke in 2001-A Space Odyssey manages to correctly interpret the simple physical facts.

• In daily computer life, the use of the MOUSE covers about 80% of all inputs.
  As this activity appears less spectacular than typing on the keyboard at breakneck speed, all movies show loud tapping, rather than the more modern movement of the mouse.
  Are they still in the age of Microsoft DOS in Hollywood.

• No tape recorder or video cassette player ever built gives off a squealing sound when switched to fast forward or fast backward.
  The sole reason Hollywood insists on this is that some directors seem to be more stupid than they expect their audience to be.

Why do you perpetuate the situation, in which a person is flung through the air by his adversary, then left bleeding in the gutter when, always a second too late, help appears only to ask him the moronic question "Are you alright?"?

Why do Americans (at least in their movies) beat each other to a bloody pulp, fire bullets at everything that moves, constantly exchange rudeness among each other, convert other people's car to scrap and in the next sequence say:
"May I ask you a question?"
Be advised that in other, perhaps even more cultured nations, to ask a question is not considered something that needs prior permission. Asking you a question must amount to an exceptional intrusion into your private sphere.
But surely it has nothing to do with politeness, as the same characters rarely say "please", "thank you", "pardon me" or even "goodbye".

Why does none of the hapless drivers come up with the idea of trying the ignition key, when their car speeds out of control, the gas pedal obviously having been tampered with? OK, I do know that you directors insists on "suspense" or "action" sequences. But doesn't that exclude an audience smart enough to know what logical measures to take first?

You try hammering into us how much a wife cares for her husband by having her reprimand him for doing what he is supposed to do, namely make a living for his family. (Usually the situation is as simplistic as illustrating friction between family and job) Sometimes this demonstration of "love" is accentuated by the husband pursuing a job that happens to be dangerous or even life-threatening. In which case she may offer to temporarily take his place ("No, I go!" is the standard phrase). Some of you see this as an excellent dramatic opportunity to show how much the man loves his wife by having him decline her offer.
This is how schematic American film-making has becomet. Down to the level of sickening banality.

Swearing has left the domain of "God" to make way for words from the more immediate human environment. In the hypocritical part of American society, where do the two most often used curses originate from?

• One of the most pleasurable experiences people can have: fucking.
• The solid human excrement that nature has made repulsive to us, so it is not used again, but put under ground : Shit.