English Nuffins From "Flying", 1994

English is the language of aviation, and pilots the world over know that Bad English is the universal language of the planet. Some examples from an Air France bulletin:

In a Tokyo hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels, please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

In Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In an Athens hotel:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having good time.

In a Swiss mountain inn :

Special today - no ice cream.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Copenhagen airline office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

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